Does Divorce End a Marriage?

by Robert Waters

One of the most basic concepts in a civilized society is the fact that divorce ends marriage. Nevertheless, many preachers preach something different because they do not view the issue as being this simple. That is because of their misinterpretation of certain New Testament passages, which I shall show to be in harmony with the idea that divorce does indeed end a marriage.

Some say “only death ends a marriage,” but this denies the purpose of divorce. God does not act, nor require others to act, in ways that serve no good purpose. The main objection to the concept that divorce ends a marriage is the thinking that Jesus said a divorce had to be for “cause,” and adultery is usually noted as being the required cause. (See “The exception clause” note at the bottom of this article.) To complicate matters further, some insist that only the person who actually initiates the divorce proceeding for the specific cause of adultery is divorced “in God’s eyes.” Of course, this requires investigation, prosecution and judging to determine WHO God sees as “innocent,” and therefore the one He considers to be “eligible” to marry. If a divorce was not initiated for adultery, these preachers argue that the other spouse is still “bound” (married) and this is the reason he/she cannot marry another. But if you read 1 Corinthians 7:27, 28, you will see that the word “bound” is in contrast to “married” and that the word “loosed” is in contrast to “divorced.” This seems evident since the text states that the “loosed” do not sin if they marry. “Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned.”

Problems with the Traditional View

We can easily see numerous obvious problems with the view that only the one who initiates a divorce for adultery may marry:

First, it can’t be from God because it is not even wise. Instead of seeking repentance and forgiveness, in the case wherein both husband and wife have been guilty of adultery, the theory encourages a race to the courthouse to be the one to file for divorce. Also, people who do not believe in God may choose to avoid marriage altogether and just “shack up.” Or, they may get married only because the other party wants to, or perhaps to gain tax benefits. Therefore, the doctrine that the divorced are not really divorced, and therefore commit adultery if they marry, has no affect on them at all. It affects only (and always adversely) those who are inclined to follow what they think is God’s will. The result (from such teaching) is that people who need both God and a spouse (see 1 Cor. 7:1, 2) are often driven away from Christ, and evangelists are greatly discouraged. Is there any wonder why God chose to call this “forbidding to marry” theory “doctrines of devils” (1 Tim. 4:1-3)? Instead of allowing themselves to be misled by well-meaning preachers, people should do their own research and study and come to their own conclusion.

Second, if the theory noted above is true, we must come to grips with the idea that God told Moses to write something He did not like (in defining divorce and giving the command; Deut. 24:1-2, Mark 10:3) and that Jesus, at a point when His enemies were seeking some reason to kill him, decided to contradict the Law that allowed the divorced to marry.

Third, the Bible simply does not support the theory. How can one person be free from a marriage, after divorce, while the other is not? This false notion is based on what is thought to be Jesus’ teaching to Jewish men; but Paul, who answered questions from Christians, gave answers that conflict with this incorrect premise. Regarding the “unmarried” (divorced) Paul commanded any who might think it necessary to impose celibacy to “let them marry” (1 Cor. 7:8-9). He previously (verses 1 and 2 of the same chapter) had given the reason for the command to allow those who have no spouse (both men and women) to marry. It was so they might “avoid fornication.” (For more thorough study of 1 Corinthians 7, follow the links at the end of this article.)

The Definition of Divorce

One should begin his study of the question “Who has a right to marry?” by learning the definition of divorce. Note the definition below:

A divorce is a formal ending of a marriage. It's more permanent than a separation and involves a legal process. If you get a divorce, that means the marriage is officially over. Divorce has both a noun and a verb form. The noun describes the thing you get — you are getting a divorce.” -- www.vocabulary.com

Sometimes the “world’s” definition of a word is contradicted by the Bible, but is this the case regarding divorce? Is the idea that a legal divorce is not recognized by God, unless it was done because of adultery, taught in the Bible? We have looked at the world’s definition of divorce; now let’s see how the Bible defines it. The definition is found only in the Old Testament, which means it is intended to be a universal command for all people in all times. Here is the command that God inspired Moses to write:

When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife (Deut. 24:1, 2).

Some seek to pervert the above text because it does not support their theory, or tradition, regarding what Jesus taught. They realize that if this passage means what it says (as translated in the KJV) then Jesus contradicted it; and this is not something honest defenders of the Bible are willing to accept. This is because they understand that Jesus was obligated to follow the Law and that contradicting it would have given his enemies justifiable reason to kill Him. The best commentaries explain that Jesus did not take issue with the teachings of Moses, but rather with the false notions of the Jews who, at the time, were “teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.” The command Moses gave Jewish men regarding divorce is of utmost importance in our study regarding divorce and marriage because it not only gives us God’s definition, but also was the focal point of the discussion that Jesus had with Jewish men (enemies) who were seeking to entrap Him in His words. It is almost impossible to get away with perverting God’s definition of divorce, and deceiving others, because God confirmed the truth of what Moses wrote when He told us about his OWN divorce of Israel.

And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also (Jer. 3:8).

The above text confirms Moses’ definition of divorce that requires THREE parts, not just ONE (separation or sending away). This passage, along with revelation from the apostle Paul, confirms (using a divine personal example) that a woman who is divorced (according to the instruction the man was given) “may go and be another man’s wife.” God divorced Israel, not just by putting away (which does not meet the definition of divorce) but also by giving her a bill or certificate of divorce. This ended the marriage and freed Israel to marry another. To marry a false god was out of the question because such is contrary to God’s will. There was a divorce and Israel was freed to marry, but whom would Israel marry? God never ceased his pleading for Israel to repent. He had a plan for her restoration and it unfolded as the church (bride of Christ, Rev. 21:2, 9; 22:17) came into existence. A passage in the 7th chapter of Romans has often been misused to teach that the divorced may not marry, which, if true, would include Israel. But many are seeing the true light of the teaching therein. Verse one identifies to whom the passage is addressed: “Them that know the Law” (Israel). Then, verse 4 (which has generally been left out of the discussion completely) identifies the Israelites who had become dead to the Law (not God) by MARRYING Christ.

Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God (Rom. 7:1-4).

Some object to what the above text clearly teaches—that Israel married Christ and is therefore His bride. This is because when the light is shined on these passages the props are knocked out from under the traditional teaching that forbids marriage (1 Tim. 4:1-3). Thus, tradition is held in higher esteem than the Bible. In view of Jesus’ comment (Matt. 15:9), the seriousness of such evil cannot be overemphasized. He said, “But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.”

What Did Jesus Really Teach?

Now that you have an understanding of the basics regarding divorce, you are in position to benefit even more by learning what Jesus really said, which most misunderstand. The Jewish men had somehow managed to change the dowry custom. Instead of the prospective husband's bringing the dowry to the woman’s father, the father paid a dowry to the husband, which would be returned to the woman if her husband divorced her. This, then, became a clear motive not to divorce a woman, but merely to send her away, if the husband should come to hate her or become tired of her and want to marry another. Of course, a man could have as many wives as he wanted, according to the Law; so whether he divorced or merely put away the woman did not affect his next marriage in any way. Yes, some insist such a man commits adultery WITH the woman he marries, unless he divorced his previous wife for adultery, but we should look to what Jesus said and be willing to accept it. He said the man “committeth adultery against her” (the wife he sent away, Mark 10:11). So the teaching of celibacy that is enforced in many churches today by preachers and elders is being forced to apply to men contrary to these preachers' and elders' own proof text.

The problem of both women and men being forced to live celibate after divorce, even in cases wherein they did not sin and are divorced against their will, is a concern to all. Some try to get around this conundrum using an idea called “mental divorce.” This is basically the belief that if you get divorced by an unfaithful spouse you can then, in your own mind, divorce that person for his or her unfaithfulness. Inventors of this doctrine see the unjustness in the traditional teaching. But not knowing the truth about what Jesus was dealing with, they seek to harmonize His teaching with passages that portray Him as just, fair and reasonable. The truth they need to see is that Jesus’ condemnation of these evil Jewish men was based upon their practice of sending away but not divorcing according to God’s definition. When Jesus said, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:9) He was not saying divorce does not end a marriage. He was saying man should not attempt to do a divorce his own way. (To do so would not be recognized as divorce.) In the last couple of decades more and more preachers are taking the position that divorce and separation are the same thing. They need this to be true to force the Greek word apoluo to mean divorce. But when they do this they unwittingly are guilty of teaching a way of putting asunder (divorcing) that is not taught in the word of God. Sending away, putting away, departing, etc., is common, but it is NOT divorce. For example, Joe’s young wife, Sue, gets angry and departs—goes back to her parents. Then after a week of wise counsel she returns and there is reconciliation, but since there was no divorce there is no need for marriage.

Let’s turn the above example around and seek to illustrate the meaning of apoluo in a different way: Joe caught Sue (his wife) in what appeared to be inappropriate relations with another man. Being angry Joe told her to leave and not to come back. He was so angry he would not listen to a single word she said. After a period of time, Joe learned that the man his wife was hugging was an old friend who had just lost his only son in a car accident. Joe apologized to Sue and they were reconciled. Those who hold the view that separation and divorce are the same are forced to say Joe and Sue, in the above example, were divorced. This would require marriage rather than mere reconciliation. In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, we have the same circumstance. The woman whom Paul speaks of as having departed (left) is said, by MDR tradition teachers, to be divorced, which changes the entire situation. (See the link regarding this passage at the bottom of this article.)

The Woman at the Well (John 4:17-18)

He said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.” The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly.”

Does it not seem apparent that Jesus gave us the above teaching to help us see that divorce ends a marriage? Or does it make more sense to insist that He would have us assume that five husbands had died, or that this woman had divorced them for adultery? Consider Dr. David A Dewitt’s exegesis of this passage from his article called “Does Divorce End Marriage?”:

The most likely way to understand this passage is that the woman was married and divorced five times (see the Ryrie Study Bible note for John 4:16-18, p. 1685), or at least one of the five times, and was now living with a man she was not married to. It is very unlikely that anyone would outlive five husbands and even more unlikely she would still be young enough to attract another live-in man. Also, in John 4:29, she asks the men to come see a man who told me all the things I have done, not all the things which happened to me. If she was indeed divorced, the fact that she does not now have a husband would indicate that a divorced woman does not have a husband. Since this woman had no husband but had five in the past, we can only reasonably assume that those former marriages no longer exist. And if even one of them ended in a divorce, we can only conclude that divorce ends marriage.

Conclusion

The truth that divorce ends a marriage was evident when God gave the law (in the Old Testament) for the purpose of freeing the woman, and it is evident today. Human tradition is powerful but it does not compare to the truth, the word of God. The Hebrew writer wrote:

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart (Heb. 4:12).

In commenting on the power of the word, as noted in the above passage, Albert Barnes wrote the following:

And powerful - Mighty. Its power is seen in awakening the conscience; alarming the fears; laying bare the secret feelings of the heart, and causing the sinner to tremble with the apprehension of the coming judgment. All the great changes in the moral world for the better, have been caused by the power of truth. They are such as the truth in its own nature is suited to effect, and if we may judge of its power by the greatness of the revolutions produced, no words can over-estimate the might of the truth which God has revealed.