Total Health -- Reader's Feedback Regarding Marriage and Divorce

“I’ve read your various writings and debates on this issue and complement your research and clear explanation. My question is, are the preachers who teaches the “doctrines of devils” just Christian’s in error or false teachers who are lost and leading others to the same state?”

Thank you for your comment and question – a good one. My answer is: God does the judging. From my angle, the fruit looks pretty bad, especially when they have been shown the problems and consequences of their teaching.

So many have made this issue the "unpardonable" sin....it clearly is not! Your clarification is wonderful. Thank you

G.T.
Robert, your teaching on this topic is about the clearest, straightforward, free-of-muddle message I have ever known. Carry on, brother.

“I was doing some Biblical studies into the issue of Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage by looking at the original Hebrew and Greek texts and wanted to see if others shared the same views. In doing so, I came across your debates and material and realized that you indeed share the same conclusions that I have found. Much of the confusion in Christianity around this issue is due to the mistranslations of the Hebrew words (KERIYTHUTH and SHALACH) and the Greek words (APOLUO and APOSTASION). The traditional teaching is that APOLUO (PUT AWAY) is the same as APOSTASION (DIVORCE) but a careful study will reveal that these words are not interchangeable.”

Reply: It is good to hear you have gotten a handle on this important subject. Teach others as you have opportunity.

“Thanks, I intend to do so and may even use some of your scholarly and well thought out arguments with your permission of course.”

“Thank you, sir. However, I will definitely give credit where it is due and promote your book because it really captures the various points on the issue of marriage, divorce and remarriage.”

I came across your divorce and marriage two-part outline last year in December and it was, to say the least, the most eye opening, concise, and comprehensive articles I've ever read on the subject. It explained everything so clearly and, to me, was irrefutable. No one has ever been able to explain it to me without leaving large gaps or contradictions before, and I've heard a lot of differing explanations in my 55 years. Never have I ever agreed with how divorce and (re)marriage was taught by those who were basically teaching tradition and thus trying to force the proverbial "square peg into the round hole." After reading your outlines, I literally sat and cried tears... both from overwhelming joy that it was finally explained without contradictions (like puzzle pieces finally coming together) and from intense anger/frustration that SO many people/relationships have been hurt or destroyed by the continued false teaching on this subject. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your effort in proclaiming exactly what the scripture says and not promoting erroneous tradition.

Robert you will never know how glad I am that I discovered your site and your fb posts. For a long time I was in fear. I almost turned away a woman that has turned out to be a great blessing. We have been married going on three years and if I hadn't found your site I would not be able to enjoy what God has blessed me with again thank you and may God bless your work.

Promote your book. It's well written and explains clearly the great misunderstanding on the Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage Controversy" "PUT AWAY BUT NOT DIVORCED" a liberating study and marriage saver.

Once again, Robert, you show a brilliant understanding of this issue...you have helped me a lot.

Just felt compelled to send you a quick note and tell you how much I appreciate your information on marriage, divorce, and remarriage. I can't believe I have been so blind for so long. The point that the "traditional view" makes Jesus say something contrary to the Law, was eye-opening. It made me think, there must have been a multitude of good Jewish men who, in keeping with the Law, married legally divorced women. Jesus would not have taught something that made these men suddenly adulterers. That's enough right there to dismiss the traditional view. Again, thank you, brother! I know it takes a lot of courage to stand up against those who hold dogmatically to their view. -- [From a popular blogger]

Mr. Waters, I can not adequately express my appreciation for your dedication to speaking the truth about divorce and remarrying. I haven’t finished your book but am wanting to cry as I read through the first few chapters as well as picking out specific chapters that I am desperately needing. My husband wanted a divorce as I fought it with everything I had. He felt he could do this with me being bound to him until I die. His last words to me as he informed me of serving me with divorce papers- “this is not because of adultery.” His way of getting rid of me yet me not being free to remarry. Our divorce is now final. He knows (thinks) that I will stick to Man’s traditional MDR laws....... however, he doesn’t realize that I have found someone strong enough to speak truth regardless of the consequences. You are so right when you said— “Things just didn’t add up” as well as the traditional way of thinking is “against God’s character.” I am looking forward to finishing your book and carefully sharing it with others who need this biblical Perspective! Again Mr. Waters, thank you for the years of study and dedication you’ve shown toward this controversial subject. I am forever grateful.

Hello Robert. My name is [name removed]. I doubt you know me, but you have intrigued me with your articles concerning Marriage, Divorce, & Remarriage. It is a topic I have studied quite extensively and, to be honest, I'm probably more unsettled on the issue than I've ever been. I cannot, in good faith, teach what has been so commonly thought and taught. I just do not believe that Matthew 19 was meant to be a one-size-fits-all teaching on the subject. Plus, as you've pointed out, we often pit Jesus against the Law in our teachings. I would like to ask if you might send me any and all information you have. I like what I have seen so far. Preaching at a church of 600 we have many people who have been divorced. I would like to read more of what you have. Thank you so much & God bless!

I wanted to write and say Thank You for your website and Facebook page. I recently became a Christian and was shocked, heartbroken over learning that I was living in a adulterous remarriage for almost 31 years. I was told that the only way to truly repent was to divorce my dear husband, destroy his life and remain single, or remarry my ex-husband even though both of us had remarried. Even though my ex's 2nd wife has passed away, and my ex and I have no hard feelings or resentment towards each other I could not remarry him. I went to my church for counseling regarding this and was told basically the same things you teach. I was also instructed that I would be making a big mistake if I divorced my current husband. I have been struggling and praying for guidance and answers with this. So much so that it has greatly affected my physical health, my migraines and ulcer has both come back full force. I love the Good Lord with all my heart and the thought of displeasing him in any way hurts my heart. I just could not understand how Jesus would forgive me of my sins in my first marriage but continue to punish me by forbidding me to remarry.

I am divorced and remarried now (32 years next month) so this topic is very important to me personally. I do find your explanation pretty straightforward and simple to understand, and it is almost word for word from others who have come to the same conclusion as you have. I have researched this topic for a few months now and have read many, many different views, explanations and what they feel should be the outcome of what they call an "adulterous marriage." Quite confusing information out there and no two people give the same response, except for those who share your views.

Thank for your research and teaching that has brought me comfort and peace of mind. God Bless you.
Chris L

Robert, thank you very much for sending your book to me so quickly. I read and studied it very carefully. It makes perfect sense to me, especially the argument that the Jews would have immediately confronted Christ if He had taught contrary to Moses.

Good day, Mr. Robert Waters. I happened to come across your website one day when I was revisiting my stance on MDR. Your articles are a good read and your arguments have won me over. I feel now that I have a better grasp of the biblical stance on these issues and I would like to thank you for it. God bless.

I just wanted to send a quick message of thanks for your teachings on MDR. I was married years ago to someone from the Church who turned very violent and abusive. I am currently dealing with him still, as my son from the marriage is now suffering abuse during visits. My parents and I grew up in the Church and they were my biggest support to get out of my first marriage, despite the judgments of other members and being told openly I will be going to hell. I am ashamed to say it, but I fell away from the church for a few years following the divorce. I could hardly handle attending when I felt less than welcome in the congregation. I was at a weak point to begin with and having church members turn on me-- I just wasn't strong enough at the time to deal with it. I later found another Church of Christ. I am now happily married and my son couldn't have been given a better stepdad. However, even this past spring the preacher of this congregation showed up at our house "to give us a lesson". He came over to our home telling us how our marriage should end or we needed to at least take up two bedrooms=no sex. It gets old to be still dealing with this topic and people's judgments. Reading your studies has helped and my parents and I even used some of your info. to help us study even more into what we already believed when trying to support our views to this preacher. It of course was not accepted by him and probably never will. It feels isolating and for my parents as well since they don't agree with the majorities thinking either. I wish we had a congregation that we could attend without knowing there are others in the room thinking you are horrible for being married and therefore not a true Christian. You would have two more families in your congregation if we lived there and that was possible!! So, anyways, thank you for the support you have provided me without even knowing each other. Your teachings have meant a lot when feeling cornered and alone to defend myself. The Church family would benefit greatly if we had more thorough studying and less judgment. Thank you : )

Thank you for sending the book. Thank you again for illuminating research. After reading through it cover to cover, I must admit that many things that did not make much sense to me have been cleared up, including the uses of words. If there is no distinction between "man/husband" and "woman/wife", as well as no word for divorce, than it stands to reason that when all facets of the divorce process are spelled out, a divorce is being discussed. If not, and only one step of the process appears (such as putting away), then a full and legal divorce is not in question.

I read the "internet" version a couple of years ago, and I'm really excited that the book [Put Away But Not divorced] is out now. I think you may know our preacher…. We studied the book together when it was still the internet version. I'm impressed/amazed by what you've done with this topic. I grew up with the standard view of divorce and remarriage and never thought too much about it until recently (I'm 61 now). If you ever write another book, I'll buy it.

Thanks so much.
D in California

I noticed that my preacher is one of your facebook friends so I feel that he may have already read some of your material on God's truth in this matter. If he has read it with an open mind then I don't know what argument he could possibly have with it. It logically answers all arguments the MDR advocates have brought up! Pray for us!

Mr. Waters, thank you so much for your research on this topic as it has helped me out tremendously over the last few years.

I do have one question on Matthew 19:8 where it says "He saith unto them, Moses for your hardness of heart suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it hath not been so." Does this mean that Moses went along with the bad practice of "putting away" because the men were so hardened? And then Jesus came and corrected it?

Bro. Waters, I'm about 3/4 of the way through your book, "Put Away But Not Divorced," and find it most enlightening. I'm going to put a check in the mail for you to send a copy to our daughter and her new husband. I wrote you of her circumstances recently. Thank you so much for the time and research you have put into this book.

I have been incredibly encouraged by your book Put Away But Not Divorced, which I downloaded as a PDF from your site months ago. It's such a breath of fresh air among so many religious publications that paint Jesus as a law-breaker who was heartless toward the divorced, particularly those who do not choose divorce or invite it by mistreating their spouse. Your book is the most uniformly sound examination of MDR scriptures I've found, and it stands to bring healing to countless who have been wounded by traditional MDR teaching.

"This is a very easy to read, well-researched study on marriage, divorce and remarriage. WONDERFUL!!!"

The world so desperately needs your book. It will be a classic, opening the minds of many, releasing the captives. I am honored to have connected with you. God keep you well.

Hello Robert,
I have really learned a great deal from your study on MDR and I think you are spot on. Like so much of our modern church the ties to Romanism are so hard to break. I have a question that is really bothering me that maybe you can shed some light on. Why is it that the term “divorce” and “put away” use the same greek term in Matt. 5:32? I really am struggling saying it is a translation error of the King James translators. That is a really dangerous place to go.
Thanks,
Mark

Reply:

Dear Robert,
Your website is such a blessing! I have been and am still studying about the subject on marriage, divorce, and remarriage. Following tradition can get one in a lot of trouble. I, now, really know the importance of studying the Word for myself. Also it is very important that when one is studying the Word about a very hot topic such as, Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage, having an open mind is extremely necessary.

Every time I asked about what the Bible says about divorce, I was always pointed to Matthew 19:9. However, the teachings of Paul were never given me. I now wonder why. This erroneous teaching about forbidding one to marry is absolutely pathetic. Yes, divorce does dissolve a marriage and separation is just that without any papers. These false teachers even go as far to telling a divorced person who is remarried is committing adultery continuosly. (I find that statement to be very troubling). Where in the world can that be found in the Bible? Nowhere. I have been deceived for so long, and I thank God that I was directed to your site. The absolute truth on this topic is being told with the correct use of hermeneutics and exegises. May God bless you!

Sincerely,
Sharron

G'day Robert :)

Earlier this evening I came across your videos on youtube regarding the MDR issue. I was certainly intrigued, having done much research into the topic in the past and being thoroughly confused, none of the 'theories' really making sense to me...either they were too permissive and completely disregarded God's original intent for marriage, or they were so stern and unforgiving as to have God essentially punishing innocent victims of divorce! But when I saw your videos, I was interested...you tackled the subject much differently from others I have heard asserting that apoluo does not refer to divorce...their explanations, although often quite detailed, were rather 'wishy-washy' and only left me with questions. After having read through maybe 10-12 of the articles on your website (and I'm still going!) those questions left by previous apoluo commentators have been resolved in my mind! I don't know how many people out there are aware of this information, in its absurd simplicity, but you are the first I have come across that has been able to fully resolve all those questions and concerns on the theory. It really is so simple, isn't it? I'm kind of in shock, having grown-up with the traditional (adultery exception) view, my family being of the opinion that remarriage is out of the question even with a 'lawful divorce.' (Although that turn is only recent, a reaction to myself dating a solid Christian man who is divorced).

But yes, I just wanted to thank you for your website! This is a topic that has caused me so much distress over the past few months, never being able to find an explanation that reconciled Moses, Jesus and Paul without ignoring passages that seemed to contradict each other! Thank you for putting it all 'out there' for people such as myself to find! ...And to think I only came across your video by accident whilst looking for something completely unrelated! I guess that's answered prayer!

Many Blessings to you and your family, Robert :)
Rebecca

"I read a MDR article you have on your website and input on the same, that you gave to a church chat room. Your article is the first I've read that addresses the matter in the manner you did. So clear and yet short. Most who conclude what you have...write 'too many words' for me . I'm no scholar or proficient communicator so it becomes difficult for me to digest when it 'rambles'. You boiled it down to some basic BIBLE passages and for me .. that said it all. . "

"Brother Waters, I gave some of your MDR articles to a friend of mine. They laughed at me and said the answer you gave was too simple. They could not understand how so much trouble could be caused by an one word mistranslation (apoluo). I was not convinced at first myself. But after studying with you for awhile, now I am becoming more convinced about what you have said on your website. The sad part about the whole MDR subject is the hundreds of people that are living with the guilt of being in a second marriage. The men in the church of Christ have a lot of pride. It will take a lot of work to convince them they were wrong for the last 70 years."

"As I stated in my first letter to you, I had never heard this position prior to reading your article and have found it to be very interesting, challenging and so seemingly simple that I can't wonder how/why I haven't heard it before. I am a graduate of the MSOP and as you can probably guess, this position is definitely not what I was taught or believed prior to attending the school.

I have recently been introduced to your website and have spent time reading various articles concerning marriage and divorce. I am intrigued by what you have written, primarily because I haven't heard the position you are presenting. I must admit that your teaching is, as the title expresses, clear and intelligible.

As I said in my previous email, I find this teaching very interesting and wonder why I had never heard of it before. I was a minister, and felt that I had spent a tremendous amount of time researching and studying. Obviously, I was more affected in my study by "traditions" than I had realized."

"I have read with great interest several articles on your web page dealing with the MDR question. Several years ago, through independent study, I reached the same conclusion about the difference in "putting away" and "divorce" as discussed by Jesus. After reaching the corrrect understanding of what Jesus was teaching, all of the questions and problems raised by the "traditional" position were removed."

"...Simply the best grasp I have ever encountered regarding the marriage divorce and remarriage issue swirling within the brotherhood."

I thank God for you Brother Waters, as you have wrapped up everything about MDR in a nice tight package. I grew up with our flavor of the “Marriage Question”, it was that there is no exception……I rejected this just on the basis that Paul said if you are loose from a wife and marry you do not sin and also his statement that forbidding to marry is a doctrine of demons and seducing spirits. Even though I could not conform what Jesus said to what Paul said, I knew there had to be an answer for what Paul said so plainly, and that he was not contradicting Jesus. I have been thrilled the last few days to find your writings and have literally inhaled them. Thank you for the answer that shows without doubt the truth of this matter. Just for a note, the article about Jewish Women in Chains, totally locked it up in my mind. You have done a great service.

Tim Berna

"You're teaching is so insightful. Thank you for your research and for explaining the scriptures. I have had a hard time reconciling the old testament law on divorce against Jesus Christ's teaching in the New Testament. Yet at the same time I see where God divorced himself from Israel in Jer 3:8. You have answered my questions. Thank you again."

"Your teachings on the subject of Divorce & Remarriage are the only conclusions that make any sense at all. They are in line with the character of Jesus."

"Your teaching on MDR appears [to be] very sound scripturally."

Hi, Robert! I saw your sister last night at the MP school reunion and had a nice visit. She told me I should check out your FB and website and I have done a little of that this morning. She thought I'd like your health, diet, and fitness site and so I went there. I began reading your play on MDR and was delighted to see someone in the Church of Christ camp taking up that issue and seeking for a biblical stance. I have studied the subject quite a lot over the years and I see you have discovered some of the same things that I did. My Baptist brethren have, for the most part, taken a pretty ridged stand that is based on tradition as well. I have not read all you've written, but I see some of the same truths that I found that are certainly biblical, but ignored by those who cling to their inherited theology. Some will falsely accuse guys like you and me of being "pro-divorce" and think that we are promoting it, but the simple truth is, we are trying to keep folks from being treated unjustly. That is a worthy Christian endeavor, not to mention that truth should always be taught regardless of traditions and preferences. Thanks for having the courage to tackle a hotly debated subject.

Dear Robert,
    Thanks for your words of encouragment. Isn't it odd how brethren are more disturbed when someone disagrees with tradition than with the word of God? Sounds a bit like the Pharisees of Jesus' day! Some challenge to an "open study" of the scriptures and then when someone does study and reaches a conclusion different from what they have determined to be absolute truth, they no longer are interested in keeping the study "open." They immediately "close" it and try to ostracize those who do not agree with them.
    In my area, Harry Osborne and Tom Roberts have taken upon themselves the task of purging the Tampa Bay congregations of all error and establish a "creed" by which all "sound" congregations must conform to be accepted. It is a bit ironic that Harry has a position on mental divorce that is not shared by some of his comrades, yet they have not made this difference a test of fellowship--but if someone differs on some other facet of MDR, they are immediately branded as a false teacher and not worthy of fellowship. Seems that the old adage, "consistency, thou art a jewel" might be apropos!
    On the plus side, I am heartened by the fact that I am finding more and more who are rejecting the traditional position of MDR because of the many questions and problems inherent within it, and are searching for the truth. These are the ones that I am interested in studying with.   I have not yet taught this position on the difference of the meaning of the Greek words publicly, but in private discussions with many of the members I would guess that the majority of the congregation does not embrace the traditional position. In fact we have a least 15 families in the congregation that are in a second marriage situation. We welcomed them without asking questions and consider them "first-class" members and use the men in a public way. I am confident that at this time, to publicly preach this would bring even more criticism upon the congregation by the area watchdogs, and I do not feel that it is fair to the brethren here to subject them to this at this time. I do know that the entire congregation is content to let God be the judge in divorce situations, which I believe is a great step in the right direction.

Brother, I will pray for you and all others who are diligently in the search for truth and solicit your prayers for us.
D.

Hi Brother Waters "I have been following the discussion on ML and I am amazed at how the truth really causes some brethren to act out of character. It is so sad that when questions cannot be answered the attack turns personal. "I have held the position you take on "putting away" as being different from "divorce" for several years. I was first introduced to this via a little booklet written by Darrel Collins. I don't know if you are familiar with this or not. But he really started my thinking on this subject and was very helpful through this publication in reaching the truth. Ironically, one of the other elders I served with (he is now deceased) started his own independent study and had reached some of the same conclusions I had reached in my study. When we began studying together we were amazed at how close we were to each other in what we understood the truth to be on MDR. Presently, we have 3 elders serving the congregation and we are all in perfect harmony on this subject. I just wanted to say a few words, hopefully of encouragement."

"On the whole issue of marriage and divorce, I believe the answer MUST BE SIMPLE. I believe it is simple but its just that tradition, false teaching, and bad translations have made things complicated. I appreciate your efforts to get the truth accross but I think there are some people who are just fighting to retain their reputations rather than seeking for the truth. Keep trying anyway."

Mr Waters,
I am on my way to a two week trip to...visit my brother, and I am printing out the articles on your website to show him.

I am a third generation member of the Lord's church, and nothing on earth means more to me than my relationship with these people, these precious truth-loving people. They are still the most compassionate, humble people that I have ever met.

I have known for over twenty years that the churches of Christ were in terrible error regarding this issue, but I also learned my lesson about speaking up about it. If a person speaks up about it, they are tarred with the same brush as the couples that they are defending--worse, they are false teachers, teaching that it is all right to commit adultery, fornication...etc. No one else will defend you. You are all alone. I have always been very enthusiastic about evangelism, and knowing that when someone comes to church because I have invited them, they will eventually be told they need to divorce is very disheartening.

Then in 2006, my husband of 16 years left me for--of all cliches--his secretary. No one at church told me that I needed to "reputiate" him somehow--in a no fault state--legally. It wouldn't have mattered. I was numb, frightened, poor, having to return to college as a thirty-seven year old, sixty-hour work week drone with two teen-age sons to fit in. The last thing on my mind was getting married again.

To be honest, getting married again is still not important to me, but, and I don't even understand why, being told that I may not hurts. Then I began to really understand the consternation that the church is wrecking people's lives with.

As it is, putting my membership in a church that forbids me to marry, wouldn't be much of a loss. I have not fallen in love, nor is there much likelihood of that happening in a church where my brothers-in-Christ would be unwilling to have me--so.

However, I know many women who would like to remarry, their reasons for their divorces are honorable, and they are interested in studying the bible with me. I am currently studying with a catholic, who is considering leaving the catholic faith. I have just ran out of the heart and courage to tell her that if she joins the church of Christ she will be forbidden marriage. I don't have the stomach for it.

I know that the Bible teaches against divisions, but I can't help but feel that if a schism comes regarding this issue, I will be relieved. Before my divorce, I pretty much stayed in the same small midwestern city, and (because of an incident where I was reproved about my beliefs on this) learned to bite my tongue.

I know that many people agree that this is false teaching. I know why they don't say anything. I have seen good men, top-notch bible scholars go down when they took a stand against this biblical error. What would happen to me? I'm just a woman.

mr waters,
thank you for your website on mdr. i don't know what to say to thank you enough. do you take donations to continue the website?

Thanks so much for your encouragement. While I appreciate your offer to help contribute to the website, donations are not needed.--RW

I was very grateful that a dear brother/author forwarded me your website in an email -- and came to the realization that the traditional view is based on a nonsensical misinterpretation. The truth must be told. Folks need to hear.

Thanks, Robert, for standing up and making a difference. Keep up the great work you're doing for God. If you have a mailing list or email list, let me know.

Robert,
Thank you for such an excellent web site on this continueing problem in the CoC fellowship. We are literally ruining the lives of men and women who have already suffered terribly by teaching the "traditional/conservative" view of MDR.

I am a theological forum moderator on a fairly popular and growing Christian discussion forum that is attached to the http://www.gracecentered.com web site run by Lee Wilson, son-in-law to Joe Beam of Family Dyanimics and a "labeled" minister in the CoC. We have been actively discussing the MDR issues for the last several days with a very "traditional" minister who could be described as almost part of the "Old Paths" movement churches. I first became familiar with the views on your web site by studying a small book by Dyrel W. Collins that is published by Star Bible Publications in Ft. Worth, TX. I talked with Dyrel at length at ACU Lectureship several years ago. After that, I started looking for support for his views, which I found to be some of the most supportable views that I have ever read on MDR at that time. That is when I found your web site and the outline on the Greek words used. I pulled that outline this morning to look up some info and decided to revisit your site. I was surprised at the amount of good information that is now on the site. The expansion in study material related to MDR was tremendous and very valuable. I have made a post this morning recommending your site for study of MDR with hopes that more, including our friend who is still very much set in his old ways and views, will also visit. He told me a couple of days ago that he would try to order Collosn Study on MDR.

I just checked out your website. It really does look fabulous! Brandi did a terrific job. I'm very impressed. One thing I want to say, too. I read your little snippet about MDR, and I think your thoughts about "taking marriage away" are really great. I do believe to forbid marriage or to push divorce on those thought to be committing adultery is wrong.

I...was recently DEVASTATED when someone in the church told me that since my husband was married before, that he and I need to get divorced in order to be right with God. Since then, I have been reading the Bible and have been on your website (which I love). Then, I just happened to come to FOT to see that there will be a debate about it! What perfect timing. I'm hoping to learn a lot.

Thank you for your website. It has been of such comfort to me. I remembered it from a couple years ago when I started reading some of your stuff on James Johnson's Nice List. I knew about the MDR debates and what not, but it really hit me hard when that man told me that my husband and I must divorce... and here we have a new baby.

Robert, You take on the MDR issues is very persuasive. I think you have it pretty well nailed. Thanks for the effort.

Dear Robert,

I would like to thank you for your comprehensive website; I have browsed much. I am recently divorced so have found it very helpful. In fact, I found your site even more helpful than www.divorcehope.com which itself helped get me through difficult times with its scriptural interpretations unlike any other.

You simply cannot underestimate the pain that the current confused teachings on divorce cause one who is seeking to do God's will. During the height of my divorce (not initiated by me) I even contemplated whether or not I was prepared to go on as a Christian because I felt the prospect of being forced to be alone for life was monstrously difficult (and yes, I struggled with calling it unfair).

The current positions taught are causing enormous torment to 'good-hearted' people and subjecting them to a lifetime of unecessary guilt and misery.

I am now dating a Christian woman and it is important for me to be able to approach our friendship with a clear conscience about what the future may hold.

Mr. Waters,
I just wanted to let you know that I have been studying this subject matter because of my personal experience and living through this with my husband. I must say that out of all the information I have read, yours was the most enlightening and reached my heart and mind. Unfortunately, while I must forgive him, I can not live with him as this is not the first time he has broken our marriage vows.
Thank you.

You have an iteresting site. At this point I disagree with your views on MDR, but you have lots of interesting material to read and digest. I intend to read more and always look to understand "What saith the scripture?"

"Thanks so much for your continued work and stand on the truth of what the Bible teaches on divorce and remarriage. The need for greater clarification on the issue is great as I believe much of the church is clearly misapplying Jesus' words and not understanding God's heart."

"Thank you so much for the hope and peace that your research and writings give us. My wife and I are both MDR and have struggled for nearly 20 years about what Christ really taught. YOU HAVE GIVEN US REAL HOPE AND PEACE. The congragation we attend has just split over this issue and it has hurt so many people and is very sad. I only pray that people like you can someday open the eyes of the traditional strict breathern to see the true teaching and quit hurting so many."

R.C.

"Dear Bro. Robert, Thanks for your reply. I would just like to tell you why this subject has become so important to me. Over two years ago my wife…passed away…. A few months ago I began dating a lady at the church I attend. I've known her for…years….” So I knew very well that she was divorced from a man who had been very cruel to her over a long period of time and had separated from him…years ago when she discovered his journal and his plans to do away with her simply so he would not have to suffer the embarrassment of a divorce. I also know very well from being around her the top drawer Christian woman she is. To get to the point, I cared for her a great deal prior to dating and have come to love her very much since and have every intention to marry her. It wasn't long after we started dating that she asked me if I was aware of the trouble I was probably in by dating her. I had a fair idea what she was talking about. She explained how two of the elders had informed her that she couldn't marry and her only sinless course was to reconcile with a man who wanted to kill her. That certainly we would be expelled from the church if we were to continue dating or get married. I explained to her that I believed that everyone had a right to be married and that forbidding people from being married was a doctrine of demons. I told her that I didn't know exactly what Jesus meant, but since the Apostle Paul obviously didn't get the same idea from it that the elders had, their interpretation couldn't possibly be correct. That I think it would be a dangerous thing indeed to come to the conclusion that certain people could not marry given what Paul said about it. To help calm her mind about this I've been praying about this, begging God for the answer, and studying everything I could put my hands on in order find the answer to the meaning of the Lord's words. So finding your writings was certainly an answer to prayer, a gift of God to me. Soon I'm sure I will have to give an answer for all this. Thank God that now I will have the complete answer. May the fruits of the Spirit grace your life each and every day."

"Thanks, Robert, for your mighty fine article. I'm glad that there are people such as you and others who are willing to get out the microscope and really look at this. My feeling is that God is a God of second chances ... and I do not see anywhere that a remarriage is an unforgivable sin. But you have sought to go deeper than that, and I appreciate it. And of course I feel this way because I agree with you."

"I just read most of your book which I stumbled across online, "A Young Preacher's Dilemma," and am overwhelmed with thankfulness that you have written such a thing. Your words echo what I have discovered in my own studies on the subjects of divorce and remarriage and the Scriptures that apply and the ones that are commonly misused. You have put into an easy-to-understand format that which I have been wanting to write, but have not had time to do, so I can give something to all my friends and acquaintances within the church...."

"You have done a superb writing on the MDR argument. God bless these efforts."

"I received your tract on the marriage, Divorce and Remarriage. It is very good."

"After reading your papers on put away and divorce several times I must say you are right and most Christians are wrong in their thinking on the subject. Only those that refuse the truth would say that you are wrong. Your 12 years of study on this topic will help millions of people. May the Lord bless you for all of your hard labor. With your permission I will mention your outstanding research to others."

"...Keep up the good work."

"You have an interesting site. At this point I disagree with your views on MDR, but you have lots of interesting material to read and digest. I intend to read more and always look to understand "What saith the scripture?'"

"I think over the years I have been brainwashed with the traditional teaching and inclined to believe it because of the respect I have had for the men who taught it. However, in the past ten years or so, I have developed a more independent and "rebellious" mind. In other words, I started studying and thinking for myself and coming to MY OWN conclusions. I think I've had some doubts about your conclusions in the past but, overall, recognized that you were on the right path. Your latest proposition seems to be "on the money" as it makes the most sense, has the least complications, and is in harmony with the rest of the Scriptures. It would be good to have this simple teaching in the form a short outline."

"Hmmm, you seem to have come up with a doctrine that has no flaws. I'm going to have to think some more about it." [If what I teach on MDR has no flaws then it is simply the truth, not new and not mine. r.w.]

"Having done research on the MDR issue I notice that there are a handful of names that come up quite frequently".Seeing as your name came up often, I decided to read some of the things that you have written. I found it to be a pleasant experience."

"I really admire your work in helping others to understand that the word Apoluo does not mean Divorce as in LEGALLY DIVORCED."

"I have read a good bit of your arguments regarding MDR based on Mat 19:9. My personal perspective generally supports your own."

"Brother Waters: I’ve read quit a few of your articles on MDR. I’ve got to say I have enjoyed it immensely. Your view is basically the one I hold. Its amazes me that people I’ve talked to over the past few years, brothers in the church, have such a stiff-necked attitude about even studying the subject. I find when I bring the subject up, and try to get them to see that there is a valid way of understanding the subject, that deserves attention, walls go up and the words false teacher are soon fired from an already cocked closed mind. If at some point you have time, there are a few points that I would like to study with you. Keep up the good work. Your website is excellent."

"Hi Robert, Thanks for your response. Let me give you a brief chronology of how I reached my understanding of the Gk words. About 5 or so years ago, I began questioning the "traditional" position because of some questions put to me that I could not answer--for instance, "how can the "innocent" party be seperated by divorce and the "guilty" party still be bound?' -- and "why is an innocent person who has been put away by a mate in which adultery is not a factor, forbidden to ever remarry?" -- and "why can a person be forgiven for murdering a mate and able to remarry when they cannot remarry if they are guilty of adultery?' - etc. I was raised "in the church" and for many years embraced the "traditional" position until I began to study for answers to these and many more problems with that position. I was talking with a good preacher friend of mine (an older man) and he shared with me that he had found a position that made more sense to him than anything else he had studied on the MDR question. He gave mme a small booklet, "Marriage is God's Plan" by Dyrel W. Collins, (Star Publishers) in which Dyrel took the position that "putting away" is not the same as "divorce." As I read his material, I put aside everything that I had ever read or been taught on MDR and tried with an open mind to digest this material. After some study EVERY question and problem about MDR that I had ever dealt was gone. It became obvious to me that this was indeed what Jesus was teaching in the gospels."

"You are exactly right. The crux of this entire issue, the matter upon which everything turns, is whether Jesus was creating a new marriage law (and the second part of the matter is when that new law would go into effect, but that's not an issue if He wasn't giving a new law). May I make a suggestion. Why not refocus the current discussion on THIS ONE ISSUE? If your position on this "core" matter is correct (and I believe it is), then the "traditional" position is overthrown." [This certainly is an issue, but when one sees that "put away" does not mean divorce it becomes apparent that Jesus did not change the Law. rw]

"I searched the scriptures and studied and too found all you have shared. I will be printing your huge beautiful work..."

"I took a look at your site a couple of hours ago...and I want to tell you that I'd really love to trade links with you. I think your site has some really good stuff related to my site's topic of divorce and would be a great resource for my visitors as it deals with some great aspects of divorce that I'd like to give my visitors more information about."

"Dear Robert, I would like to thank you for your comprehensive website; I have browsed much. I am recently divorced so have found it very helpful. In fact, I found your site even more helpful than www.divorcehope.com which itself helped get me through difficult times with its scriptural interpretations unlike any other. "You simply cannot underestimate the pain that the current confused teachings on divorce cause one who is seeking to do God's will. During the height of my divorce (not initiated by me) I even contemplated whether or not I was prepared to go on as a Christian because I felt the prospect of being forced to be alone for life was monstrously difficult (and yes, I struggled with calling it unfair). "I need to make it clear; I am not an advocate of divorce and I married before I became a Christian, and even then I considered marriage for life. But the current positions taught are causing enormous torment to 'good-hearted' people and subjecting them to a lifetime of unecessary guilt and misery. "I am now dating a Christian woman and it is important for me to be able to approach our friendship with a clear conscience about what the future may hold."

"I just wanted to thank you for the time and energy you have put into your research and for sharing it with the rest of us. I'm in a nationally-known bible study class. After talking to my discussion leader about some marital hardships, I was so disheartened by her words to me." ... "After talking with her, I knew this was wrong! In my own despair, I would hear God whisper to me His words, "I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whomever I will have compassion" (Ro. 9:15). It was not until I found your website that I really knew what His gentle answer to me meant. Thank you and may God bless you for your work!