Hi Robert,

I have been incredibly encouraged by your book Put Away But Not Divorced, which I downloaded as a PDF from your site months ago. It's such a breath of fresh air among so many religious publications that paint Jesus as a law-breaker who was heartless toward the divorced, particularly those who do not choose divorce or invite it by mistreating their spouse. Your book is the most uniformly sound examination of MDR scriptures I've found, and it stands to bring healing to countless who have been wounded by traditional MDR teaching.

Thanks...for such an amazing resource.

Keven Spargo

"This is a very easy to read, well-researched study on marriage, divorce and remarriage. WONDERFUL!!!"

Adele Hebert

The world so desperately needs your book. It will be a classic, opening the minds of many, releasing the captives. I am honored to have connected with you. God keep you well.

Adele Hebert

Hello Robert,
I have really learned a great deal from your study on MDR and I think you are spot on. Like so much of our modern church the ties to Romanism are so hard to break. I have a question that is really bothering me that maybe you can shed some light on. Why is it that the term “divorce” and “put away” use the same greek term in Matt. 5:32? I really am struggling saying it is a translation error of the King James translators. That is a really dangerous place to go.
Thanks,
Mark

Reply:

Hello Mark,
First, the fact that the KJV was not consistent in translating the Greek apoluo in the gospels does not speak well for its credibility. It may be that they did it to appease some authority, whether it was the king or the Pope. I don't know for sure why they did it. Nevertheless, it definitely should not have been translated divorce because that is not what apoluo means. For a legal/scriptural divorce to take place a certificate must be given (Deut. 24:1-2). The ASV, and several other trusted versions, never translate apoluo as divorce.
rw

Mr Waters:

Thank you for your very accurate and enlightening teachings...on divorce and remarriage. I have been anxious, fearful and stressed for years after having divorced 10 years ago from my first wife who was persistently unfaithful and remarried for going on 9 years to a wonderful Christian lady. How would God hold me in bondage as being persistently adulterous when I have actually sought to be sexually pure and was the one who was cheated on in my first marriage with no recourse? Much of my fear has been driven by my own religious misunderstanding and surface assumptions of what the scriptures actually teach and mean. For the first time I see, through your sound exegesis and hermeneutics, a reconciliation of the OT Scripture, Jesus and Paul.

FYI I am an Oral Roberts University Alumni and an ordained minister. I am humbled to have been set straight and "delivered" by your insight into the scripture. My mental health has been damaged for years and I felt a dark cloud lift this morning. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

Dear Robert,
Your website is such a blessing! I have been and am still studying about the subject on marriage, divorce, and remarriage. Following tradition can get one in a lot of trouble. I, now, really know the importance of studying the Word for myself. Also it is very important that when one is studying the Word about a very hot topic such as, Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage, having an open mind is extremely necessary.

Every time I asked about what the Bible says about divorce, I was always pointed to Matthew 19:9. However, the teachings of Paul were never given me. I now wonder why. This erroneous teaching about forbidding one to marry is absolutely pathetic. Yes, divorce does dissolve a marriage and separation is just that without any papers. These false teachers even go as far to telling a divorced person who is remarried is committing adultery continuosly. (I find that statement to be very troubling). Where in the world can that be found in the Bible? Nowhere. I have been deceived for so long, and I thank God that I was directed to your site. The absolute truth on this topic is being told with the correct use of hermeneutics and exegises. May God bless you!

Sincerely,
Sharron

G'day Robert :)

Earlier this evening I came across your videos on youtube regarding the MDR issue. I was certainly intrigued, having done much research into the topic in the past and being thoroughly confused, none of the 'theories' really making sense to me...either they were too permissive and completely disregarded God's original intent for marriage, or they were so stern and unforgiving as to have God essentially punishing innocent victims of divorce! But when I saw your videos, I was interested...you tackled the subject much differently from others I have heard asserting that apoluo does not refer to divorce...their explanations, although often quite detailed, were rather 'wishy-washy' and only left me with questions. After having read through maybe 10-12 of the articles on your website (and I'm still going!) those questions left by previous apoluo commentators have been resolved in my mind! I don't know how many people out there are aware of this information, in its absurd simplicity, but you are the first I have come across that has been able to fully resolve all those questions and concerns on the theory. It really is so simple, isn't it? I'm kind of in shock, having grown-up with the traditional (adultery exception) view, my family being of the opinion that remarriage is out of the question even with a 'lawful divorce.' (Although that turn is only recent, a reaction to myself dating a solid Christian man who is divorced).

But yes, I just wanted to thank you for your website! This is a topic that has caused me so much distress over the past few months, never being able to find an explanation that reconciled Moses, Jesus and Paul without ignoring passages that seemed to contradict each other! Thank you for putting it all 'out there' for people such as myself to find! ...And to think I only came across your video by accident whilst looking for something completely unrelated! I guess that's answered prayer!

Many Blessings to you and your family, Robert :)
Rebecca

"I read a MDR article you have on your website and input on the same, that you gave to a church chat room.  Your article is the first I've read that addresses the matter in the manner you did. So clear and yet short. Most who conclude what you have...write 'too many words' for me . I'm no scholar or proficient communicator so it becomes difficult for me to digest when it 'rambles'. You boiled it down to some basic BIBLE passages and for me .. that said it all. . "

THANKS

KTM

"Brother Waters, I gave some of your MDR articles to a friend of mine. They laughed at me and said the answer you gave was too simple. They could not understand how so much trouble could be caused by an one word mistranslation (apoluo). I was not convinced at first myself. But after studying with you for awhile, now I am becoming more convinced about what you have said on your website. The sad part about the whole MDR subject is the hundreds of people that are living with the guilt of being in a second marriage. The men in the church of Christ have a lot of pride. It will take a lot of work to convince them they were wrong for the last 70 years."

DF

"As I stated in my first letter to you, I had never heard this position prior to reading your article and have found it to be very interesting, challenging and so seemingly simple that I can't wonder how/why I haven't heard it before. I am a graduate of the MSOP and as you can probably guess, this position is definitely not what I was taught or believed prior to attending the school.

I have recently been introduced to your website and have spent time reading various articles concerning marriage and divorce. I am intrigued by what you have written, primarily because I haven't heard the position you are presenting. I must admit that your teaching is, as the title expresses, clear and intelligible.

As I said in my previous email, I find this teaching very interesting and wonder why I had never heard of it before. I was a minister, and felt that I had spent a tremendous amount of time researching and studying. Obviously, I was more affected in my study by "traditions" than I had realized."

Chris C

"I have read with great interest several articles on your web page dealing with the MDR question. Several years ago, through independent study, I reached the same conclusion about the difference in "putting away" and "divorce" as discussed by Jesus. After reaching the corrrect understanding of what Jesus was teaching, all of the questions and problems raised by the "traditional" position were removed."



"...Simply the best grasp I have ever encountered regarding the marriage divorce and remarriage issue swirling within the brotherhood."



I thank God for you Brother Waters, as you have wrapped up everything about MDR in a nice tight package. I grew up with our flavor of the “Marriage Question”, it was that there is no exception……I rejected this just on the basis that Paul said if you are loose from a wife and marry you do not sin and also his statement that forbidding to marry is a doctrine of demons and seducing spirits. Even though I could not conform what Jesus said to what Paul said, I knew there had to be an answer for what Paul said so plainly, and that he was not contradicting Jesus. I have been thrilled the last few days to find your writings and have literally inhaled them. Thank you for the answer that shows without doubt the truth of this matter. Just for a note, the article about Jewish Women in Chains, totally locked it up in my mind. You have done a great service.

Tim Berna


"You're teaching is so insightful. Thank you for your research and for explaining the scriptures. I have had a hard time reconciling the old testament law on divorce against Jesus Christ's teaching in the New Testament. Yet at the same time I see where God divorced himself from Israel in Jer 3:8. You have answered my questions. Thank you again."



"Your teachings on the subject of Divorce & Remarriage are the only conclusions that make any sense at all. They are in line with the character of Jesus."



"Your teaching on MDR appears [to be] very sound scripturally." 

 

Hi, Robert! I saw your sister last night at the MP school reunion and had a nice visit. She told me I should check out your FB and website and I have done a little of that this morning. She thought I'd like your health, diet, and fitness site and so I went there. I began reading your play on MDR and was delighted to see someone in the Church of Christ camp taking up that issue and seeking for a biblical stance. I have studied the subject quite a lot over the years and I see you have discovered some of the same things that I did. My Baptist brethren have, for the most part, taken a pretty ridged stand that is based on tradition as well. I have not read all you've written, but I see some of the same truths that I found that are certainly biblical, but ignored by those who cling to their inherited theology. Some will falsely accuse guys like you and me of being "pro-divorce" and think that we are promoting it, but the simple truth is, we are trying to keep folks from being treated unjustly. That is a worthy Christian endeavor, not to mention that truth should always be taught regardless of traditions and preferences. Thanks for having the courage to tackle a hotly debated subject.

Rick Brooks

Dear Robert,
    Thanks for your words of encouragment.  Isn't it odd how brethren are more disturbed when someone disagrees with tradition than with the word of God?  Sounds a bit like the Pharisees of Jesus' day!  Some challenge to an "open study" of the scriptures and then when someone does study and reaches a conclusion different from what they have determined to be absolute truth, they no longer are interested in keeping the study "open."  They immediately "close" it and try to ostracize those who do not agree with them.  
    In my area, Harry Osborne and Tom Roberts have taken upon themselves the task of  purging the Tampa Bay congregations of all error and establish a "creed" by which all "sound" congregations must conform to be accepted.  It is a bit ironic that Harry has a position on mental divorce that is not shared by some of his comrades, yet they have not made this difference a test of fellowship--but if someone differs on some other facet of MDR, they are immediately branded as a false teacher and not worthy of fellowship.  Seems that the old adage, "consistency, thou art a jewel" might be apropos!
    On the plus side, I am heartened by the fact that I am finding more and more who are rejecting the traditional position of MDR because of the many questions and problems inherent within it, and are searching for the truth.  These are the ones that I am interested in studying with.   I have not yet taught this position on the difference of the meaning of the Greek words publicly, but in private discussions with many of the members I would guess that the majority of the congregation does not embrace the traditional position.  In fact we have a least 15 families in the congregation that are in a second marriage situation.  We welcomed them without asking questions and consider them "first-class" members and use the men in a public way.  I am confident that at this time, to publicly preach this would bring even more criticism upon the congregation by the area watchdogs,  and I do not feel that it is fair to the brethren here to subject them to this at this time.  I do know that the entire congregation is content to let God be the judge in  divorce situations, which I believe is a great step in the right direction.  

     Brother, I will pray for you and all others who are diligently in the search for truth and solicit your prayers for us.
D.

Hi Brother Waters "I have been following the discussion on ML and I am amazed at how the truth really causes some brethren to act out of character. It is so sad that when questions cannot be answered the attack turns personal. "I have held the position you take on "putting away" as being different from "divorce" for several years. I was first introduced to this via a little booklet written by Darrel Collins. I don't know if you are familiar with this or not. But he really started my thinking on this subject and was very helpful through this publication in reaching the truth. Ironically, one of the other elders I served with (he is now deceased) started his own independent study and had reached some of the same conclusions I had reached in my study. When we began studying together we were amazed at how close we were to each other in what we understood the truth to be on MDR. Presently, we have 3 elders serving the congregation and we are all in perfect harmony on this subject. I just wanted to say a few words, hopefully of encouragement."

"On the whole issue of marriage and divorce, I believe the answer MUST BE SIMPLE. I believe it is simple but its just that tradition, false teaching, and bad translations have made things complicated. I appreciate your efforts to get the truth accross but I think there are some people who are just fighting to retain their reputations rather than seeking for the truth. Keep trying anyway." 

Mr Waters,
I am on my way to a two week trip to...visit my brother, and I am printing out the articles on your website to show him.

I am a third generation member of the Lord's church, and nothing on earth means more to me than my relationship with these people, these precious truth-loving people. They are still the most compassionate, humble people that I have ever met.

I have known for over twenty years that the churches of Christ were in terrible error regarding this issue, but I also learned my lesson about speaking up about it. If a person speaks up about it, they are tarred with the same brush as the couples that they are defending--worse, they are false teachers, teaching that it is all right to commit adultery, fornication...etc. No one else will defend you. You are all alone. I have always been very enthusiastic about evangelism, and knowing that when someone comes to church because I have invited them, they will eventually be told they need to divorce is very disheartening.

Then in 2006, my husband of 16 years left me for--of all cliches--his secretary. No one at church told me that I needed to "reputiate" him somehow--in a no fault state--legally. It wouldn't have mattered. I was numb, frightened, poor, having to return to college as a thirty-seven year old, sixty-hour work week drone with two teen-age sons to fit in. The last thing on my mind was getting married again.

To be honest, getting married again is still not important to me, but, and I don't even understand why, being told that I may not hurts. Then I began to really understand the consternation that the church is wrecking people's lives with.

As it is, putting my membership in a church that forbids me to marry, wouldn't be much of a loss. I have not fallen in love, nor is there much likelihood of that happening in a church where my brothers-in-Christ would be unwilling to have me--so.

However, I know many women who would like to remarry, their reasons for their divorces are honorable, and they are interested in studying the bible with me. I am currently studying with a catholic, who is considering leaving the catholic faith. I have just ran out of the heart and courage to tell her that if she joins the church of Christ she will be forbidden marriage. I don't have the stomach for it.

Telling couples with children that they need to divorce makes me nauseated.

I know that the Bible teaches against divisions, but I can't help but feel that if a schism comes regarding this issue, I will be relieved. Before my divorce, I pretty much stayed in the same small midwestern city, and (because of an incident where I was reproved about my beliefs on this) learned to bite my tongue.

I know that many people agree that this is false teaching. I know why they don't say anything. I have seen good men, top-notch bible scholars go down when they took a stand against this biblical error. What would happen to me? I'm just a woman.

My prayers are for you and your work.

mr waters,
thank you for your website on mdr. i don't know what to say to thank you enough. do you take donations to continue the website?

Thanks so much for your encouragement. While I appreciate your offer to help contribute to the website, donations are not needed.--RW


I was very grateful that a dear brother/author forwarded me your website in an email -- and came to the realization that the traditional view is based on a nonsensical misinterpretation. The truth must be told. Folks need to hear.

Thanks, Robert, for standing up and making a difference. Keep up the great work you're doing for God. If you have a mailing list or email list, let me know.



Robert,
Thank you for such an excellent web site on this continueing problem in the CoC fellowship. We are literally ruining the lives of men and women who have already suffered terribly by teaching the "traditional/conservative" view of MDR.

I am a theological forum moderator on a fairly popular and growing Christian discussion forum that is attached to the http://www.gracecentered.com web site run by Lee Wilson, son-in-law to Joe Beam of Family Dyanimics and a "labeled" minister in the CoC. We have been actively discussing the MDR issues for the last several days with a very "traditional" minister who could be described as almost part of the "Old Paths" movement churches. I first became familiar with the views on your web site by studying a small book by Dyrel W. Collins that is published by Star Bible Publications in Ft. Worth, TX. I talked with Dyrel at length at ACU Lectureship several years ago. After that, I started looking for support for his views, which I found to be some of the most supportable views that I have ever read on MDR at that time. That is when I found your web site and the outline on the Greek words used. I pulled that outline this morning to look up some info and decided to revisit your site. I was surprised at the amount of good information that is now on the site. The expansion in study material related to MDR was tremendous and very valuable. I have made a post this morning recommending your site for study of MDR with hopes that more, including our friend who is still very much set in his old ways and views, will also visit. He told me a couple of days ago that he would try to order Collosn Study on MDR.



I just checked out your website. It really does look fabulous! Brandi did a terrific job. I'm very impressed. One thing I want to say, too. I read your little snippet about MDR, and I think your thoughts about "taking marriage away" are really great. I do believe to forbid marriage or to push divorce on those thought to be committing adultery is wrong.



I...was recently DEVASTATED when someone in the church told me that since my husband was married before, that he and I need to get divorced in order to be right with God. Since then, I have been reading the Bible and have been on your website (which I love). Then, I just happened to come to FOT to see that there will be a debate about it! What perfect timing. I'm hoping to learn a lot.

Thank you for your website. It has been of such comfort to me. I remembered it from a couple years ago when I started reading some of your stuff on James Johnson's Nice List. I knew about the MDR debates and what not, but it really hit me hard when that man told me that my husband and I must divorce... and here we have a new baby.



Robert, You take on the MDR issues is very persuasive. I think you have it pretty well nailed. Thanks for the effort.



Dear Robert,

I would like to thank you for your comprehensive website; I have browsed much. I am recently divorced so have found it very helpful. In fact, I found your site even more helpful than www.divorcehope.com which itself helped get me through difficult times with its scriptural interpretations unlike any other.

You simply cannot underestimate the pain that the current confused teachings on divorce cause one who is seeking to do God's will. During the height of my divorce (not initiated by me) I even contemplated whether or not I was prepared to go on as a Christian because I felt the prospect of being forced to be alone for life was monstrously difficult (and yes, I struggled with calling it unfair).

The current positions taught are causing enormous torment to 'good-hearted' people and subjecting them to a lifetime of unecessary guilt and misery.

I am now dating a Christian woman and it is important for me to be able to approach our friendship with a clear conscience about what the future may hold.



Mr. Waters,
I just wanted to let you know that I have been studying this subject matter because of my personal experience and living through this with my husband. I must say that out of all the information I have read, yours was the most enlightening and reached my heart and mind. Unfortunately, while I must forgive him, I can not live with him as this is not the first time he has broken our marriage vows.
Thank you.



You have an iteresting site. At this point I disagree with your views on MDR, but you have lots of interesting material to read and digest. I intend to read more and always look to understand "What saith the scripture?"



"Thanks so much for your continued work and stand on the truth of what the Bible teaches on divorce and remarriage. The need for greater clarification on the issue is great as I believe much of the church is clearly misapplying Jesus' words and not understanding God's heart."



"Thank you so much for the hope and peace that your research and writings give us. My wife and I are both MDR and have struggled for nearly 20 years about what Christ really taught. YOU HAVE GIVEN US REAL HOPE AND PEACE. The congragation we attend has just split over this issue and it has hurt so many people and is very sad. I only pray that people like you can someday open the eyes of the traditional strict breathern to see the true teaching and quit hurting so many."